If I were to pen my emotions the words in the dictionary are not enough to string together to express my loss.

A LOSS?! that is a mild way of describing the emptiness that refuses to be filled.

GRIEF?! I never knew thus unpleasant companion. Do I embrace you or scream of the despair you have brought to my life?!

LOST?! Four letter words that have new meaning to me. 

We walked blindly each on their own path but muddling through, just trying to fulfil their God given purpose. It seem that you got the memo that it was going to be a short one for you waded through on your own terms.

Its been the longest I have been  without you in my life. 

My story with out you has taken a new texture and I have to settle into it for its forever till we meet to part no more.

This month is going to be hard but I know you will want me to draw out every ounce of good out of it but today forgive me for I bleed.

A moment in this new narrative without Gbolafunmi Olatungbe Folayan Adeyemi.

MAD ABOUT LOVE!

I could never understand why i feel the way i do about you?
i cannot undersand why the meare tough of you being with someonelse trasrs me open.
what i cannot stand is the fact that it is easy for you to up me in a box and label me and push me aside.

i dont know if my heart can go on standing this pain that it constantly recive from you.
Am not sure if i can cope with your presence neither can i stand the tought of being without u=you.
i am close to giving up on you but my heart keeps telling me to hang in there!

you say the most annoying things by not saying anything!
you do the most annal thing by not doing anything !
you do not deserve me yet my heart say you are the one!

what do i do when it is clear that am really mad about love in you!
what do i  do now?

Do i be all dramatice and morn this love?
do i do the impetus thing and jum in love?
or do i just try and heal?

Heal? what is that? how do one get that?
Really what do i do?




-Made about love with you.

totally agreed.
I am tired of all this label!
Man you gotta work a little bit more for this lady before you get the honors of fully enjoying her pleasures!

:http://pinkmafia9ja.blogspot.com/2012/05/ice-queen-cometh.html



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WHO AM I?

It has been 2 long years since I last bloged!

Where did the time go?

So have been exploring and rediscovering who I am and a no were close to finding out "who am i"

I have loved I have been consumed have exploredm I have opened my mind to new things and have learnt new things. I have been loved, healed and hurt again. have been brave to step up to my fear but still I do not know who I am!

I did a Horoscope test today and it says am not a true arise!I had to go back to find out why the survey says am not and it is simple I still lie to myself and have not being handling

It is amazing what the heart can endure!

This heart of mine is a nomad in this journey called life.
 It has been flighty, it has been trashed, it has been battered and abused.
One thing i am coming to realize is that Love aint for me.
I have been infatuated and it was brief but painful
I have been passive and it was not me
I ave been touched and lived for a short while
I ave been driven to near madness
I have been lost dead to Love.
Yes Love aint for me
Yes i can cry all i want and wet my pillow
I can holler till am blue
The pain may go away for now but the marks would remain
Marks?
Fool that i am i know i will fall again and be in this same spot

So, you say you love me yet you cant be with me
So, you say am too good for you so you cant be with me
So , you want to be with me but not more than friends
SO......


How can I explain to you that your inability to stay with me is like a deep cut in my heart?
How can I let you know that you not being good for me is just an excuse for not staying?
How can  I make you understand that being friends aint enough?
HOW.......


It is easy to put up the wall to protect your heart from hurt
It in human to guard one's self from pain
It is what it is.
IS IT


That day would come when all the excuses would not be enough
That day shall come when all your friends would go, move on and evolve
That time when we all have got to check where we stand and reassess our positions
THAT......


I do not know the future
I cant determine what would be, but 
I do know I do live you and will always do 
I.....


Love is everything both good and bad
Love is patient and self sacrificing
Love is letting go and watching your Love be
LOVE....


You will explore the wonders of this life
You will taste all there is to offer
You will hurt and you will heal, you will relive all your past lost love
YOU.....


Dearest you will ask this will ask this very question" SO, HOW IS IT THAT I LOVE YOU?"
And i'll answer you I Love you just because.......

MARRIAGE